Love has no limit

Basically, love not being just a feeling, or an emotion, or an ability; love being a choice, it has no limit. We can love whoever we want to.

But hear me well, it does not mean we can appreciate anybody. Because that would be a feeling. It doesn't mean we can like people just by wanting it.

What we can choose to do however is to care about people. And that includes caring about people more than about things. It means listening when your mom talks to you, even if you're in the middle of your favorite show on TV. Most people, if brought to the choice of life or death, would choose their mom over their show anyway, so why not actually do it in your everyday life ?

Same with your friends. You can't just wait for them to get better if they are depressed. You can't just hang out with them when everything's all right, and abandon them if they are not well. If you want them to go better, why don't you help them ?

I'm not asking you why you don't feel like doing it, I'm asking you why you choose not to do it. Not to show them love.

Can you speak Love ?

Because love is a choice, it's efforts you make towards one another, for one another.

How do you show to your soulmate that you love them ? Do you act according to what YOU identify as Love, or do you display the behaviour THEY identify as Love ?

Is it telling her she's beautiful, or him he's manly, while they didn't ask ? Is it taking the trash out or cooking diner instead of them ? Is it an unexpected gift ? Is it giving them all your attention now and then ? Is it a peck on the cheek, a hand on the shoulder ?

Learn to speak your mate's love language. See what they like and do it, have them see what you like and they'll do it.

If you don't risk everything, you're risking even more. - Erica Jong

There is no safe love. As soon as you make mistakes, and you will, you will have the "safe" choice, which is to hide it, or the risky choice, that is, deal with it. Confess it. Take the risk to damage the love the other person has for you. In other words, give them reasons not to choose to love you anymore. That's your risk to take.

Your soulmate's risk to take is to still choose to love you. It is to risk getting hurt again because of your mistakes. Love is a risk, taken both ways.

The day you stop taking risks is the day you stop thinking the other will take risks. You won't feel that they love you anymore, and they won't indeed, because you won't let them make the choice to. They won't know what is at stake, and your loves will grow apart from reality, like a movie missing scenes.

It may seem like not much at first, but it will grow on you, and on your respective love.

Remember that you will both make mistakes, and you will both have to take risks.

In girum imus nocte et consumimur igni

"We go round in the dark, consumed by fire". There is little around us to show us what love really is, how it is to be practiced, and what to do in specific situations. The fire of passion consumes us, and we mistake it for the light of drivenness.

Passion, may it be anger, or... what we call love. But it isn't love. It's sexual attraction. It's idealized fantasms. It's emotional dependence. It's whatever you want, but in most cases, it isn't love. No wonder it hurts.

Have a purpose. Be driven. In everything. But don't think that love is going to be served to you on a silver plate. Love is something you search for, something you choose, something you discern, something you work on, something you keep up.

Love is hard work

The thing about love, it's that it's like life. It's hard work. Most people just let it come and let it work on its own, they submit to whatever and however it makes them feel. Life is good, I'm happy, life is bad, I'm sad. Love makes me feel butterflies, I'm happy, love breaks my heart, I'm sad. It's just not me, it's love, it's life, I'm the victim.

Well, maybe you should stop whining about how things make you feel and start controling yourself a little bit. When you get happy, or angry... well it's you. You, your body, your feelings. And you can control it. You put up everyday with lots of things, so you can do that too.

The problem, then, comes with how you put up with things. Pushing them under the rag is not a good idea. Stop dealing with the consequences of the problem, go for its source. It's in you. Refuse to get angry or sad for things that are not worth it. It's okay to express your feelings, better than stuffing them in, but work on your reaction to things that usually make you feel bad. Because, in the end, there will always be bad things. And if you don't work to refuse the effect they have on you, you're enslaving yourself to those things.

You have control. You just choose to surrender it to those things. Take it back.

Love as you know it

Do you love your mother ? And your friends ? What about your car ? What about your pet ? And what about your lover ?

Do you love them all the same way ?

Of course not. Because it's not about the same kind of love. Is any kind of love better than another ? Or is love just a feeling, without moral attached to it ? But if love is the only thing that really counts, then how could it be without moral ? If it is the thing that can create so much happiness and so much pain, how can it not be moral ?

Love is not a feeling, it's an ability. It involves choice and practice, it's the only way to explain how we can love so differently.

Do you like hating people ? Don't you get tired of hating ? Of being angry, and bothered ?

What if hatred was failing to love ?

True love ?

"Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence."

- Erich Fromm.

We hear true love is the only thing worth living. We hear true love is the greatest thing, the highest power. We hear about love everywhere, all the time. It inspired the most beautiful art on Earth, as well as the most extreme actions.

Is it an illusion ? Do people just get worked up on their sexual envy and intellectualize it so as to make it look okay ? Is everybody dumb, or do we actually know, somehow, in the back of our head, that true love is indeed the only thing which is making all the rest valuable ?

And if it is true, then, does that mean there is an answer to why we are here ? Or where we come from ?

Man meets woman. - Hitchcock

Love is everywhere. It's becoming worst than God. Most movies, songs, books and even blogs have one main theme : love. So everyone gives their opinion, and in the end it becomes more of a commercial idea. You heard those things a million times, and only originality sells. But originality and everyday life are hardly ever synchronized.

The love that sells, it's that for which you'd climb mountains so as to throw yourself from its vetriginous cliffs. It's passional, carnal love, with some twenty seconds scenes in blockbusters. It's a love which defies taboos, the great adventure.

In the long run, love only matters to you if it's epic. You'd like reality to articulate around you so that it corresponded to a sentimental odyssey. But you don't need to look for it in other forms, love is inside you. It won't come from elsewhere, and if you condition it to be triggered only in some configurations, is it surprising if it doesn't express fully ? Is it surprising if this very love makes you unhappy ?

Happiness, really ?

"I am happy" he said, convinced that he was. "That's all there is to it, except when people like you come and think they know better and fucking bother me with their stupid questions".

Still by challenging him to prove it to me, he had gotten mad. Now he was having a bad day because I somehow managed to rob him from his happiness. Or so he thought.

Because, really, could anyone take happiness from you ? I mean, true happiness. Can anyone take love from you ? I mean, real love. Is it really love, really happiness, then, if it can be taken away by anyone ?

Happiness is unstealable, because you must decide to be happy. It does not depend on exterior factors. But it's not just a state of mind, it's you allowing love to drive you. Control what's inside, because what is inside is what makes you.

Love is a choice

Love is not just an exalting sensation, an overwhelming feeling that gives you butterflies.

You can choose to love, just as you choose to hate.

Love is a way of least resistance to the outside attacks, but it is a way of strongest resistance to the inside natural reactions. Do not give way to hate.

'Trained to hate' you think, when you see terrorists on TV.

Well train yourself to love.

Love is worth it

Because life is not a bitch.

She's a worthy lady, beautiful and wild, but maybe you're setting your eyes in the wrong place.

Maybe you call her a bitch because you can't get just what you want from her.

Maybe you want the wrong things.